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a lot of noise, some boundaries, and a hug

“Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” — Prentiss Hemphill

Unsplash Image by Valentin Salja

Slow down, maybe way down. Ambition is great but trying to do it all is arrogant. A very well intentioned arrogance. We can’t do it all and that’s the beauty of our limitations — not to sacrifice ourselves as martyrs (looking at you, BIWOC).

Show up purposeful, not perfect. We are flawed and complex humans bound up together in even more flawed and complex systems. Perfectionism is a danger of White Supremacy.

Feel your way through. Be vulnerable and intimate. Belonging lives in emotions, not strategy.

Trust your own discernment. There’s a lot of noise about self-care, and yes, all important. But on the day you need self-indulgence (gimme that tub of ice cream) or self-soothing (gimme that four hour nap), gift it to yourself without shame, blame, or guilt.

Set boundaries with expressions of love and mutuality. Boundaries don’t have to be permanent, immovable, or closures. Boundaries can be openings — for yourself, for others, for the past and the future. Here’s an offering for BIPOC folks, instead of designing boundaries as a form of self-protection, what might these look like designed as a gift to yourself and others?

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