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let’s say F* that to disenfranchised grief

“I’m sorry and sorrier that sorry is rarely enough.” — Kiese Laymon

Borrowing from the words of writer and author Kiese Laymon, we’re sorry and sorrier that sorry is rarely enough. This letter comes to you on the heels of the Atlanta shooting, followed rapidly by the Boulder shooting; we’re still wading through Derek Chauvin’s re-traumatizing trial, and now living through the horrific state-sanctioned murder of Daunte Wright by Minnesota police, Adam Toledo by Chicago police, and Mah’Kia Bryant by Columbus police. We’re not the ones to be apologizing for this relentless violence of white supremacist systems and actors but we are still sorry. Sorry for your trauma, pain, sorrows, and fears. Sorry for our collective grief.

One of the many things about grief that isn’t talked about enough is the ‘double whammy.’ How you feel two griefs and not one. There’s your own grief. Missing them in your life. But the grief you feel for them-for everything they are missing and will miss-can be tough.

We thought of Daunte, Adam, and Mah’Kia and how much more life they had to live, the many firsts they should’ve experienced, the magic and tenderness of being alive and aging and loving and hurting. Racism isn’t just about what’s lost now, but all that is stolen from the future: a person’s future, a future with that person in it.

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